Random events in my life that made me laugh over the last week.

*I was walking down the hall in my house to a closet near the kitchen to pick up my snow boots. As I bent to pick them up I did not realize how close I was to the corner of the wall until my forehead hit the corner allowing a shocking pain wake me up. It was funny after a moment of repeated "ouch".

*I was on the bus back to my house. I saw a dirty, smelly old man walk on to the bus and stand next to the back door. Suddenly from the back of the bus comes a women with a mask over her mouth, rubber gloves covering her hands fasten on her wrist with Velcro, layers of jackets and jeans, and rubber rain boot. She had to be diagnose with a Germophobia or Mysophobia. She walked and stood right next to this man who was dirty and smell. I then thought to myself "What a beautiful world". Seeing these two polar opposites stand beside each other filled me with hope and laughter for our strange humanity.


* I wrote to my friend guess instead of guest. Very difficulty word to grasp.

* My friend left for a week to spend time in Florida with his parents while he was there he left his tuck in the back of a parking spot which i guess was our neighbors drive way. A blizzard hit Boston which means the snow plows began to run. A snow plow or our neighbor snowed-in my friends truck. I then thought I would be nice and break the wall of snow down for my friend. I did break the wall of snow and some snow went into this mans area of the drive way but nothing that I would think to be bother-some. I left to be with some friends came back to find the wall of snow back up blocking my friends truck but this time there was a sign. On the sign read "Do not put snow on my drive way. If you do this again I will break your front window and through snow into your front seats." I became angry wondering why this threat was necessary when there is only one way out of the drive way which the snow then his car is blocking, what a rude person. I do not understand it so now I laugh.


*I am house sitting for a friend and he owns some cats. This morning I woke up with them laying next to me. One was laying against my knees the other against my stomach. It was 9 0'clock. I was so comfy that I slept longer.

*I woke up to the cats and it was 12 0'Clock. I then realized it was time to defiantly get up. I woke the cats up and Bella gets up stares at me then walks up to my face rubes it with her face then her body then to her tail with that came a rub of her fart in my face! I gasped then died.

* Oh ya, how I shoveled the snow wall for my friends truck to get out was with a POT. Then I heat up some water filled a big white bucket, poured it over the snow thinking it will melt it and it did jack! I then used the white bucket to shovel to snow wall down.

These are some of my funny events. Thanks for reading.

Dear Friends and family.

I have been alone the last few days. I realize how quickly my mind goes into things that get me frustrated and angry so easily. I think of the past, things people had said to me, the hypocrisy I see in others, how there is injustice in everything, why I cant speak up about how I feel or think. These thoughts are terrible and tearing me up inside as I sit alone. I dislike it and I need to be on guard consistently towards this victimized, justice, criminal, revengeful thought pattern in my mind.

I share this with you because I need help. By help, I mean prayer. I ask God "why these thoughts?". He response differently to me each time I ask him and the same response when I am in a place of thought he and I have already visited. He speaks to me "You're a broken spirit" (he says this with a compassionate voice, that shows me he is ready to receive me as I am). He said to me once and reminds me "this is your thorn in the side and I will not heal you because my grace is sufficient. Once you desire me and not your perfected image then the thorn may leave but until then search for me and I will love you". Sometimes he response with silence which I would say is the most painful response because I cant tell if he is near or far. I trust in these moments he is listening and waiting for me to calm down and rest in his presence.


There is a beautiful story I was once told. "There was a wife and a husband. The wife would come home to her husband pissed off, yelling at him about how she is disappointed with him and her life. She would clam he did not love her. The husband will listen walk around the house making the house fit her so she could be comfortable. He would be fixing a meal for her as she pouts, then he grabs a cup fills it with orange juice and hands it over to her. She drinks it and then begins to calm down, rest, and apologize for all the things she said. He sits with her and cares for her and understands she has a disease that makes her act this way. He loves her and is patient with her" This is my relationship with God and it maybe yours too. I knew as soon as I heard this story that it was God and his treatment towards me.

Jesus deeply love me and I love him back. Try to at least.

We are deeply loved by God. We may be wolves to one another and slowly repenting of this animal instinct but God is never a wolf, he is a gentle lamb.
He is lovely.

Dear Family and friends,

I am grateful to announce that God takes care of his creation. God takes care of his children. God takes care of his Kingdom. God takes care of the cosmos, the universes around us that are unseen. God takes care of the chaos in our world. God takes care of our economy. God takes care of the air flowing in and out of your lungs as you read this note. God takes care of the sick, the poor, the needy, the insecure, the meek, the just and unjust. God takes care of us who are in need of him and allows him into the depth of our selves and our surroundings.


I am grateful for this God of the universe, this God of peace and comfort, this sovereign God that reins over all creatures of the sea, land, and air. This God that may have the power to create and erase existence. He may have wrath and fire but he comes to us in the power of lowly, meek, humbleness. A king that kneels.

This is our God, this is our king, our savior. Sovereign and mighty. Our wisdom nearly touches his foolishness.

Romans 11:33-36 (The Message)

33-36Have you ever come on anything quite like this extravagant generosity of God, this deep, deep wisdom? It's way over our heads. We'll never figure it out.

Is there anyone around who can explain God?
Anyone smart enough to tell him what to do?
Anyone who has done him such a huge favor
that God has to ask his advice?

Everything comes from him;
Everything happens through him;
Everything ends up in him.
Always glory! Always praise!
Yes. Yes. Yes.

Selah


Job 1:21
“Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
and naked I will depart.
The LORD gave and the LORD has taken away;
may the name of the LORD be praised.”

I adore thee, I adore thee,
may my existence be to know thy name.

Dear friends and family,

God is so kind and helping me a tone to work beside him in advancing his kingdom. I have been just given a acer notebook (laptop) which opens more doors to get in touch with people, write news letters, get access to personal accounts, and post a lot more art. I am grate full for Gods love and provision in helping me with his way.

I have also been greatly honored with a gift from my parents the New and Old Testament on audio. I have been looking for a audio bible for a few months now, praying for one secretly and now I have one.

I have been radically touched by God in case you haven't read my last post. This touch from God was sweet, pleasurable, delicious. Beneath his breath my spirit was recovered by his reminder of love and the cross he bore for me to live with him forever, to express such great heights of love for me (for us).

I feel a weight lifted from my eyes, my soul was so strained by sorrow, shame, fears but now I am alive in Christ. I maybe alive but I am so hungry, thirsty for more of Yahweh.

Please pray for these things because they are concerns on my heart.
finances, I am in need of help.

I will be starting a bible study in a project/community coming January. I will be leading it with new and recommitted folks of the faith. Pray for them and that I can lead them in a honest life before God.

I will be working closely with two churches one of which is my home church in Boston and the second a church that I am developing a good relationship with. Pray that we proclaim the gospel with boldness and benefit the community.

Pray for Joshua Generation and new students to come in from our last out reach. I have been doing follow up for the last few months and some of them I am praying will come to be apart of J.G. this coming summer.

THANKS. I love you all.

Dear Family,

The last few days of my life have been filled with the touch of God. I have not felt the love, the care of God like these last few days in a long while. Jesus has touched my spirit, my core being bringing healing, comfort, and repentance.

Sunday I prayed with a friend about my recent struggles and things of the past. Holy Spirit came upon us in this room revealing my views of Christian and my self. In my junior high school year I began to view Christians as phony because they and I could not express what Holy Spirit was doing in our hearts with theology, we could not give it labels, it seemed like emotional, mental therapy more then a move of God. Sunday, God revealed to me that my view of Christians being phony is not true, that he can move as he wish upon any one or thing. I have accepted a lie that theology was the focus, the labels we needed in order to understand Gods move. I told God I am sorry for accepting this lie, I asked him to forgive me.

More happened Sunday but I would rather speak of them in person or over the phone.

Monday night, God moved.

YWAM holds a night service of worshiping, praising God, listening to his voice about our lives and his will to come deeper in our hearts. Last night was this service and I was entering into the presence of God with a knowing pride was in my heart towards a friend, I had a lack of appreciation of him, and pride towards myself that I did not appreciate myself either. I have great sorrow toward me.

I told my friend my lack of appreciation of him, he responded with a brutal truth. He said to me "Jordan, your lack of appreciation comes from your lack of appreciation towards yourself. I feel sad for you that you cant see the good that you are." I felt anger towards my friend because he spoke truth and to say he felt sad for me, sorry for me because he cared about me, saw good in me that I could not see in me. I felt anger because I knew he loved me, cared for me and I view myself as unworthy of love and caring. We prayed and walk away from each other. I went away to simply praise God, aware of my insecurity but knowing God is loving and caring I stood in his presence waiting for him to speak.

I then had a desire for prayer from a close friend, I went to him told him told him about what had just happened with my other friend. I told him I have very little love for myself. He encouraged me and prayed for me, I then sensed I had to confess and ask for forgiveness from God for my great sorrow toward myself. I admitted it and asked God for his grace and forgiveness. I left my friend and went back to simply worship God.

Then one of the leaders of the night said I sense God wants us to go deeper with him, notice that God desires us more, he said to raise your hand if you want prayer. I did not want to raise my hand, I thought I am fine, I spoke my issues, my burdens, I should be okay yet I wanted more prayer knowing that God desires more, has more to reveal to me. I kept hearing Holy Spirit speak to me "I am more then a conquer in Christ." This phrase repeated in my mind and I couldn't shake it off it was a truth that I could not accept but desired to accept. I rose my hand and waited on God.

Two people came to pray for me. We sat in prayer before I spoke what phrase was repeated in my mind, I told them I am having a hard time accepting this truth and I need prayer for it to become true in my mind, emotions, physical being. We prayed and I sensed Holy Spirit rolling under me and rising up my body to my head. I told them to keep praying because God is doing something, I was grate full and did not want to stop praying till God spoke to me.

The muscles in my hands, in my legs tightened, I began to gasp for air, tears fell from my eyes, my sight faded in and out, I became numb and could not move. I fell to the floor on my back, encountering God.

I was out of this reality and in the presence of God at a dinning table that was endless with food and chairs with a gold frame and a black cushion. I could not stop saying "I am so hungry, I am so hungry Lord". The Lord handed my a plate with a omelet filled with spinach, spam, feta cheese, tomatoes, and cheese. He gave me more food-yogurt, fruit, lobster, shrimp, bread- I was feasting with Yahweh.

Even though Yahweh kept giving me food, I kept telling him "I am so hungry". I couldn't recall looking at my body but I could notice my body was so bony, scaly dry, wrinkly. God took me to a few places first began in a giant house, then we went to Northern Ireland, and then to Little Tokyo in Los Angels. In Lil Tokyo I was in a store running around looking at all the food, gathering, ready to eat all the food I wished to. God spoke to me "You see Jordan, there is enough food, there is enough". I walked out of the store and back into the room where the endless table was and I eat chicken with God. As I eat I tried to look at the person next to me knowing some one is sitting there but I could not fully see them, they where not fully developed, fading in and out of sight. I stopped caring and decided to feast with God.

I could think of a few things 1) Heide Baker, her book I just read about feasting for nations to love greatly. I have been praying to understand what it means to feast for a nation of people. 2) Between ages 10 or 11 I remember sitting watching the news in the morning and I asked God "when am I going to die?". I thought I heard God, I supposed I did, God spoke to me "21". Last June or July I remembered asking God this question and I even asked a friend when he is in prayer to ask God if I when will I die. Yahweh spoke to me bringing these two things together and making a new reality for me. Yahweh (without words) made it known to me this moment is a moment when I am feasting for a nation of people, and that this day is the day I die, I die to myself, an end to me and a beginning of him. The table and food before me disappeared behind a bright light that shined onto my face and into my eyes making it seemed like I have left the room. He then (with words) asked me "Are you ready to follow me, are you ready to submit all your will to me and follow me?". I began to cry in gratitude and pain. I responded "yes. Yes, I will follow you. Yes, I will submit my will to you. Yes Lord yes".

He spoke again "tell people, love people as my children". I understood quickly that it was not nearly about salvation but understanding, comprehending that we are children of God. That people in the church do not know that they are children of God. I began to remember, understand, comprehend I am a child of God.

This was a long moment because I could feel the selfishness in me battle and close up to my Spirits request to submit so God sat waiting for me to open more doors in my heart to him. I remember telling God there are areas where I am not accepting your call, help me to accept, he did by his light.

God then brought us back to the table. I sat before him and he gave me a blueberry pancake, crackers and oat meal textured cookies with pinkish and green candies in them. I was thirsty too and he gave me green tea before I left him. I did not want to leave but he assured me it was time to leave, he and I will meet again. I was so grate full to meet with the Father.

He loved me. I woke back to this reality. I sat accepting my gift, then realized I needed to give this gift away so I began telling people "You are a child of God".

this is my testimony of Yahweh loving me, in order that others may be known and loved by him. I love you Church, we are Gods children.

Dear Family,

I have a friend named Torli Krua whom is a African missionary to America also a speaker of hope in Africa. His heart is for African Refugees that are fleeing to America for freedom from the violence and desolate conditions in Africa, Torli speaks to his people about creating jobs, creating a new way of life in the midst of their circumstance, its a message of hope and imagination. He is a great man, I enjoy listening to what he has to say about life and what process is happening in his ministry. He is married, his wife lived in Africa for awhile but Torli was able to bring her to America so they can finally be a family together and not in distance. Torli and his wife are due for a child in April.

Torli has very few financial supporters, I would like to ask you to send a special donation for Torli Krua. He is not apart of YWAM, his is a part of the body of Christ, please consider to support him. His ministry is one that is changing lives.


Here are some videos of him interacting with the people God has placed in his hands.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q8-VWclpMA4


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nFn_YnwQQd8


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmWaJ-Ho8W8



If you send a donation send it to YWAM Boston, email YWAM Boston telling them its for Jordan to give to Torli Krua. You can also send money for Torli through mail just email and I will send you the address.

I just bought this book and find it AMAZING, it is a book about Christians and what they "like" or "are like". It speaks truth. If you are a Christian this book has identified you in one way or another. Embrace the reality. :)