Dear Family,

I am thinking about the term "good" and when I respond what "good" entails because when I response to "how are you?" I respond "good" then go into what I am doing but what I am doing is not who I am or thinking/feeling inside, so how can I expound one the word "good"? what do I mean when I say "good"? The definition to "Good" is cheerful; optimistic; amiable: in good spirits. This is what I mean when I say good from now on. I am glad I got that out of my brain for you to read.

Today was a radical day, very difficult but over all benefiting. I was tested today and I see my growth. Today we preformed Encounter in front of a Christian School in N.H. and well setting up things were missing, a friend and I were working on putting up some very difficult screens.

I am quiet a lot of the time, sometimes being quiet might make a person seem unsure of thing, nervous or dumb. With that, from my experience of being a quiet person, people in-charge seem to over look you, think your incapable of directing others, strict and firm all that that is in a "leader/director".

I felt and feel like that a lot of the time when we are going some where or doing something, men that have a different personality then I take charge and over look me with an idea that I do not know what is going on. I get annoyed and start wishing I was some one that could help, be of use. Having a relational personality, when I see people gather together, work together, have relationship I get kinda jealous because I would like to have a connection with others in that same meaningful way. (I know, I am probably lame, my mind works this way)

Anyway, today when all the usual procedures happened and I felt useless I began to think "Jordan, this is not about you this is about the glory of God and at the end of it all this will be over looked so focus. Move on."

I am excited and grate full to be in a place of less self-pity, insecurity, and all that stuff that stops me from going on with my day. I had to fight to look past myself, live in mercy, forgiveness, WAS NOT EASY but I FOUGHT.

I want you to know a human being can change. The definition of humanity can be redefined by God. Once a humanity is touched/moved by God then its unknown to where we will be headed or what our lives entail but at least we are moving towards God.

Thank you for reading.

My love for you is true!