Saturday, January 9, 2010

Panic and Understanding

Dear Family,

This morning I was watching T.V. and have been reflecting on my recent months with YWAM. Realizing, my income will always vary because my income is my financial supporters. Which come and go and thus far all have been faithful monthly (thank you). I realized, no body really would understand this life of a missionary that I live. I myself also am adjusting to this life style too. It is odd.

I travel, live off support from others, interact with many people in the streets, am an artist, live in community. Before all these things though, its Jesus that is the weirdest to people around me. How I interact with him and live for him. The list before came after Jesus, I would not be living this way if it wasn't for this man.

I seek no name for myself (most days), I expect things to come out of the blue and they do! Its a weird life I do live.

I slightly panic because it does not make sense and sometimes the comfort home does sound better. Yet, I know in the long run its not the life I am meant to live. I thought what about after YWAM, what if I am not meant to be a missionary till death how am I going to get finances, get a job with out education. BLAH!

Meh, I will think about it when it happens. Not really worried about it anymore. I really just do not want to get in to debt, that is the worst thing to me at this moment in life.

Please pray for me and pray about supporting me to do Gods will in this year or (hopefully) next few years.
It is a lot of work. There is no slacking in this job. My manager before all man is God and that is freaky at moments.

Much love to you.

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